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Espruino is a JavaScript interpreter for low-power Microcontrollers. This site is both a support community for Espruino and a place to share what you are working on.
@Gordon
Glad you got it sorted! As you noted, the capacitance test expects the thing you're measuring not to have any resistance to GND, and when that happened the function gets stuck waiting for the voltage to rise (since there's only a 1MOhm pullup resistor I think)
If you do want to use resistance I believe I've had some luck with plant moisture by adding a pullup to an ADC pin and then measuring the voltage