How to create a module as a 'Class' / Constructor function usable with new - or: How to make require() return a function and not an object

I'm actually just trying to be node.js compatible... Can you export functions that way in node.js?

I think the issue right now is that the implementation keeps track of the original exports object, and returns that. However if you overwrite it with something else it may not notice. That could probably be changed though.