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Espruino is a JavaScript interpreter for low-power Microcontrollers. This site is both a support community for Espruino and a place to share what you are working on.
@Kolban
As I dig deeper, it is getting worse. It seems that the Espruino architecture assumes that the net, socket and HTTP libraries make TCP calls that are blocking until they have completed their tasks. However, the ESP8266 architecture is such that we make network requests and the results happen asynchronously some time later ... however, between the time that we make the request and get the result, we must give control back to the ESP8266 kernel ... which means that I can't just "busy wait" for the callback to happen.